I think too highly of NaNoWriMo to make a mockery of it.

In years past I remember being thrilled by the prospect of writing a novel and simply amazed that I was able to do it. I looked forward to November with eager anticipation and traditionally wrote a page or so at the stroke of midnight on November first before settling off to bed.

When I got up the next morning, there it was: the start of my novel and it was as if fairies had started it for me while I slept!

I've finished enough novels during NaNoWriMo to know that I can do it. That's no longer a challenge. Now, none of them are what you'd call good by any stretch of the imagination, but they were all over fifty thousand words and most of them even had a hint of story or character development.

A few years ago, when I quit, it was because I was mocking NaNo, and that made me feel bad. The idea, and the wondrous joy I shared in when I first became aware of the project, was fading quickly as I realized all I was doing was a typing exercise. Instead of writing a story I needed to tell, to explore my writing abilities and strengthen them, all I was doing was writing for the sake of writing, just so I could say I won.

In the first year I participated there was some guy who finished the first day or so and did so by copying and pasting one word 50,000 times. I hated that then, but my last couple efforts weren't really any different and I hated myself for that. I was taking something wonderful, something that everyone else was excited about, and crapping on it by just tossing words onto the page and calling it a novel.

This year I still don't have the sense of adventure and excitement I felt those first couple of years, but I hope to make the best out of what I have. I don't know if I'll win or not, but NaNo has never been about winning or bragging rights. I hope to be strong enough to put aside any silly sense of obligation and come up with a draft of a novel during November, one that meets the threshold.

What I won't be doing is demeaning the project I hold so dear by showing I can type enough words to win.