The Internets Say I'm Doomed

This may be it.

I was going to write about something interesting today (my feet), but that no longer seems very important. In fact, nothing does. If I've learned anything in life, it's that it's all relative and it's not comfortable to walk around in any other man's mocassins, even for a short distance.

You see, I'm doomed.

Earlier today I was minding my own business, typing away and munching on some M&Ms, when I looked out the window. I do that, often, as a source of inspiration or to rest my eyes, but what I saw out there made me slam my eyes shut and search all around me for a broch with which to gouge them out.

There, far off to the East (but definitely heading my way) was one of those Chemtrail things.
!@(DCP2141.jpg:L120 popimg: "East")
I'm sure you can imagine the fear I experienced.

After trying to calm myself with yet more M&Ms, a ham sandwich, and a quick look around the Internet to see if any more women were talked into taking their clothes off, I looked again. You can only get a shadow of my horror as I noticed the trail ran right over my house and far off to the West.
!@(DCP2145.JPG:L120 popimg: "West")
A crow even settled in the top of the cypress tree, and that's never a welcome sight.

I've spent the ensuing hour, carefully taking an inventory of myself. If these chemical attacks cause a tingling in the extremities, I've got that. If it's naseau, I think I have that, too, and ringing in my ears, fuzzy vision, and overall ennui. I think the chemicals may produce confusion since I've got that in spades and, come to think of it, I think both my gall bladder and spleen may be a bit sensitive.

I'd lie down, but I'm worried about bed sores, ulcers they're sometimes called, which reminds me that my stomach may be digesting itself, a trick its learned from the flesh-eating virus that I'm certain is burrowing its way through my lungs even as I type.

It's been swell, y'all, but I'm sure you'll understand if you don't see any further updates.