Increasing Success

A couple of years ago, when Time magazine named me person of the year, I thought I'd reached my peak. I hadn't done much that year that I recall, but evidently someone was keeping an eye on me and my doings, someone credible and responsible, and someone with pull at a major news magazine.

While they neglected to give me a free copy, which I considered the least they could do, especially considering how my election could only increase their sales, and I never bought one, I still hold that award proudly in my heart, if not on my bookshelf.

Until lately, I've admittedly been in a bit of a slump. My awards, and my esteem, to use a recently popular term, have cratered, but I was somewhat heartened to realize that no less a person than one of the candidates for president of the United States considers me one of the fundamentals of the nation's economy.

That's pretty impressive, too, by any measure. I had no idea I was so important, or, once again, even noticed by anyone who spent any time east of the Mississippi. The sad thing is, using me as a fundamental, doesn't speak well for the economy or for the nation's prospects.

Still, the recognition was well received by me, and the luster had only begun to fade when last night, on nationwide TV, another candidate, this time one for vice-president, looked straight at me and winked at me! More than once!

She's mildly attractive, like some clerk at a drug store, but I'm pretty sure she's making lots of money and, if her wink is to believed, she's willing to share some of either of those things with me.

Maybe both.