A Mother's Love

I'm nearly done with my time watching two houses, or to be precise, one house and half if one duplex, only they're both technically duplexes. The house, where I've been before, actually has a unit on the bottom, but that's where the man of the house has his office and work space, so there's no tenant.

I've been dividing my time between the two places with the result that each are getting only about one-third of my attention. The remaining third is being syphoned off by the ether, and I keep thinking about kids and families. I'm told that when a second or third child is born the eldest doesn't lose any love but that the parents make some more and everyone gets their own flavor and equal share.

I've occasionally had multiple pets so I can attest to men being able to do this, but I have my doubts about women. It's been my experience that women can be quite generous about giving love, but not for very long. After anywhere from a couple months to a couple years they seem to have their fill of it and wander off to seek it elsewhere.

I've broken one heart in my life. It wasn't pretty.

Still, when it comes to love and all things relationshipy, I'm very immature and inexperienced. I guess I start well, can attract and momentarily capture someone's heart, but I don't have the legs or depth to make it last. Invariably, all my relationships end up the same "Let's move on," but I caution you not to think that (in my case, at least) that the destination is anyplace better or desirable.

I honestly don't think these women have wanted me to suffer, but they're all unified in wishing me to suffer the lack of them. It's the little things I end up missing the most, the small shared things. Her hand is as receptive to holding as it ever was long as it's not me doing the holding. Her playful gestures are still there, just not directed at me, and that's the part I hate.

You'd think I'd be used to it, but you'd be wrong.