What's Happening?

I don't so much track my mood as notice it.

I've never studied it, just been curious about it. I know events can change it but there was something on Nova or somewhere I saw once that had to do with human happiness values. What I remember from that show is that every human has some sort of baseline happiness value and that was set in something incredible, like the first six months following birth.

I don't know if that's my problem or not. The question I always return to is if my three isn't what someone else would call "really good" or if my lows are worse or better than others. I don't know what causes my descents, but I've grown used to them and they don't shake me as much as they should. I'm seeing now they're harder on those around me who care then they are on me and I really need to work harder to disguise them.

Maybe, now that my birthday has passed, it's time for me to grow up and act mature. Instead of throwing myself into pleasures or depths of despair, I should be normal, more even-keeled, less flighty and self-obsessed.

Maybe that's my new year's resolution.