More Than I Bargained For

It's not often that we leave medical practitioners with more than we showed up with, or, at least, I usually don't. Oh, sure, sometimes I get some gauze or, once, a wrist pad, and I've gotten more than my fair share of toothbrushes and floss, but today I left with six stitches in my gums.

Not a lot, no, but that's half a dozen more than I've ever had in my gums before, so it sets a record.

I had, as usual, no idea what to expect when I showed up. That's because I'm one of those patients who puts myself entirely in the doctor's care. What they want to do, they get to do. They sometimes ask for my input, but I know better than to expect anything I say will be met with anything other than patronizing.

Especially in this case, when I'm seeing students. About all I can give them is a instructive case, and I've done my best to uphold my end of the bargain.

Today I was rewarded with my tag team of dental students. Both Shervin and June were attending me, with Shervin providing most of the pain while June handled the suction thing. The observing dentist, whom I don't know from Adam, did some work, maybe some of the trickier stuff, and some girl hung around in the background. She seemed quite shy and, when I thanked her when I left, that seemed to embarrass her.

The instructions for my after care included a typo which I will bring to their attention. Shervin knows about my editing work, so I'm sure he'll appreciate that. The restrictions are the routine things, no hot or spicy foods, no sucking through straws, no rinsing, but I'm also being cautioned against exerting myself. They list, specifically, tennis and sunbathing as activities to avoid, and I have to admit I was surprised that sunbathing was now considered an active recreation. Either the young kids today are even lazier than I imagine or more goes on down at the beach than I remember. Lying on the sand reading, or dozing, or even drinking a delicious cold beverage never taxed me, but I may have been in excellent shape.

In fact, I once remarked that one of the overlooked benefits of sunbathing was that you could lay around all day and people would excuse it. "He wasn't doing nothing, he went to the beach."

I'm home now and, after a stop at a little pharmacy that was able to cram twelve Vicodin in a bottle about as quickly as I could and much faster than Sav-On can manage the task,  and my jaw is beginning to ache. I'm hungry as can be and am looking forward to some lukewarm lentil soup.

Next Wednesday I go back for a follow-up. Both the written instructions and Shervin, personally, advised me against smoking, and I can imagine the delight I will bring when I admit that I dutifully followed that instruction for well over five minutes. I'm too uncomfortable now to add withdrawal to my woes, but I may stop tomorrow.