Too Early

We're just not smart enough to have a transmogrifyer yet. You know, one of those things that would let me trade places with the ailing Pope and give him a few more years.

That sad, and the outpouring of emotions is heartbreaking, I'm also saddened by the news people talking about the world's one billion Catholics expecting the "worst." Now, there's six billion people on this planet and, the occasional Assumption aside, I think we're all going to die. I'd hate to think that's the worst, especially since so many people have to suffer injustices, muggings, rape, and torture. I think those are far worse than death. I think living through pain is worse than dying.



I may be coming to a realization: I'm not as good as I think.

I've been re-reading Recovering Eden: Some Passion because I'm not certain I gave it the attention it deserved on my first pass, the one where I read just for pleasure. Perhaps Wilde was wrong on that.

I've also been looking back over TRE, now that I've decided to try my new "omiting the looking" trick. What I've seen pretty much horrifies me. When I was writing it I was thinking I was doing a good job, that I was making it better, but now that I'm reading it I'm humbled.

Humbled and disappointed.

I've had this dream for the past few years that I could do some writing, maybe make a little money, and be happy. It's still a good idea, but only for those who can write well. I know many people think my tips and helpful advice is worthwhile, but I never wanted to be one of those who could only instruct and not do. My own writing isn't much of an advertisement for my beliefs, and I'd never listen to me.

TRE is not good, and I doubt it ever will be. It's good in my heart, but not on paper, and I doubt anything I do will ever meet my goals. I'm a hack, plain and simple, and not even that. This isn't my typical "my writing sucks" diatribe, it's real this time. I have limited talent, and I need to learn to live with that. Compared to many, I would do well to learn a marketable trade.