Simple Rules for Survival

I write my bike much less than any dedicated rider, but that's not to say I haven't developed a few simple rules for keeping myself in one piece and breathing in and out.

There are, in fact, three simple rules:

• Avoid tipping over


• Try not to run into things


• Don't let other things run into you

The first rule not only will save your skin, clothing and bike, but will prevent you looking like a fool. If you learned to ride as a kid the good news is you can ride again. That old saw about "never forgetting" is actually true, but it's not like bike riding is the way you remember it being. It's not only much harder to ride, which I blame on the extra weight, it's also much trickier. I remember riding very easily, swooping back and forth with no hands or worries, but that's not the case any more. Maybe I'll get better at it the more I do. I'd think so, since just about everything in life works that way and we get better with practice.

If you never learned to ride as a kid, fear not. I'm sure someone has some good ideas about how you can learn to balance and pedal, but that person wouldn't be me. I have no idea how to teach anyone to ride, and the very thought scares me.

The easiest way to avoid running into things is to resist the temptation to oil the rims of your wheels to make them shiny. If you do that, your breaks won't work (well, they'll go through the motions, but won't stop your bike). Yes, you should clean your bike every month or so, and bicycle fanatics are all about using Simple Green or other cleansers friendly to the earth and locally produced, but make sure that the brake pads and the rims are dry and clean before taking off.

Also, look where you're going.

The easiest way to prevent someone in a car from knocking you off your bike is to forget all that nonsense about "sharing the road." It may be legally true that you have as much of a right to be on the street as the cars, but don't believe it. Not for a moment. The roads belong to cars and if you're on one, you're at best an unwelcome guest. You should keep that attitude in mind, because any other will result in your being sent for a loop.

If you pretend that you're not supposed to be there, you're on the right track. Such an attitude will keep you looking out for cars that will catch you trespassing, and that's only the beginning of the benefits. Sure, you can insist on your so-called rights, but if you do you'll end up arguing from a morgue or hospital.

If you wear a helmet, remember they're only rated for something like a six foot drop from a stationery position and aren't designed to keep your head intact if you get hit by a moving car, or if you're moving yourself. Yes, they'll offer protection, but don't think that you'll be invincible because you won't be.

Still, nothing beats the slower pace of a bike when you want to be invested in our beautiful world. Not only that, but you can smell things as well!