I'm Under Attack

I'm not sure when it was, but some time yesterday there was a drop of liquid in my nose at a time when I'm accustomed to having such a thing. It may have been when I first woke up, or it may have been sometime in the middle of the night.

I have no idea how I got it, and I doubt there's any single reason, but I'm hoping it's just a cold and not e.coli or bird flu or anything like that. Still, I reviewed what I've been eating, just to make sure.

What I eat is divided into a few groups, just like the government does.

The food group is comprised of ham, chicken breasts, beef steaks, bacon, and things that swim in salt water that have bones.

Then there's the group that's made up of the things food eats and contains such delicacies as wheat, aspargus, green onions, potatoes, carrots and all those sort of things.

The third important food group is liquids. Most of them can be ingested through a straw, but rarely are.

The next group is those things that are listed on nutrition labels or that are sold in small bottles with pictures of farms on them at drug stores and places like that.

Finally, there's the nearly unpronounceable things that are added to a lot of food and that cost more if they're removed or never added to begin with. There are no good reasons to have any of these except they add flavor or increase the food's appearance or longevity. I guess. Maybe they reduce manufacturing costs or otherwise increase profits, like adding water to ham only with more esoteric chemicals than H-2-O.

Like I usually do if I think some germs are taking up residence inside me, I took some aspirin and dug out my small bottle of zinc lozenges. The lozenges aren't holding up too well and are a little past their expiration date, but if I understand one thing it's that all the zinc I'm likely to run across was all created between ten and fifteen billion years ago, so I don't think an extra year or two is likely to cause any noticeable deteriorzation.

I haven't eaten anything unusual except that stir fry that didn't come out as expected, and while I may have napped with a wet head, I often do that. I think it's something that I just picked up from one of those people who failed to quarantee themselves, who selfishly felt the world would be better if more people shared their infirmary.

That, or someone who's used up all his or her sick days.

Oh, and Monday I'm picking up a POS automobile.