Chicken Soup

When I'm sick I often make a big pot of chicken soup. Not only does it take my mind off my sniffles, but it's also a good way of getting rid of that crisper full of deteriorating vegetables.The first thing you need to do is buy or slay a chicken. I don't raise them, so I go to the store and get one in a convenient plastic bag. I put a big pot on the stove and pull the chicken out of the bag, making sure to toss out the healthy, good pieces that they stick inside the bird. Yes, I know that those goodies are the equivalent of the wheat germ and kernel and are prized by those who are concerned about their health and well-being, but I don't eat innards. To me, animals are prized for their muscles.

Into the pot I drop the washed chicken, sometimes including the neck, and add as much water as the pot will hold. Then, I go do something else for an hour or so and looking at naked ladies on the Internet makes the time pass quickly.

After an hour or so, I skim off the foam and pull the chicken from the pot and set it on a carving board. If I threw the neck in, I throw it away or remove the bones and treat my dog. Then I go do something else until the chicken is cool enough to handle and, once again, this step doesn't necessarily include marvelling over the female body.

When the chicken's cooled, I peel off the skin and give it to the dogs, who, by now, consider me godlike, and strip off all the meat and put it back in the pot. I then add salt, pepper, and whatever spices I can find in the cupboard. Last week when I did this, this meant basil, paprika, sage, rosemary, thyme, and celery seeds. There are traditional spices, which I'm sure you're all aware of, but if you don't add too much of something, you can toss in anything just to get rid of it.

I then raid the refrigerator for vegetables. Pretty much anything not slimy or limp can be added, and anything that doesn't go in the pot goes in the trash. So, not only do I get a big pot of soup, I clean the refrigerator! Carrots are a must, but last week all I had was one small bag of baby carrots so they had to carry a weight far beyond their tiny mass. Celery is another given, and as often as not I'll chop it on an angle just to be different. When I don't do that, I try to slice the stalks lengthwise to see how poor my hand-eye coordination is or how far I can make it down the stalk before leaving the middle and venturing off to the side.

This secret ingredient that makes this recipe mine is leeks. I'm never sure which part to use, but I always use just the green part. Those are cut into one inch squares, and I'm convinced they add something to the mix, if only a slight green tint. Last week I also added a green bell pepper and, a half hour or so before the soup was done, fresh parsley and green onions. And a potato because I'd added too much salt, skins and all.

I let the soup cook for another hour or so and, since it had too much green and not enough other colors, I added a red bell pepper, which honestly could have rattled around in the drawer for another week or so. To make the soup noodly I usually add flat egg noodles, but I didn't have any so I tossed in a healthy portion of bowtie pasta along with those last roughage adding ingredients.

When the pasta was done, about as long as it took me to watch some news, I put a portion in a big bowl and ate it with bread heels, getting rid of those, too. Not only was the soup salty, but it was soft enough that my recently stitched gums stayed stitched!

No,my soup isn't anywhere near as consistent as Progresso's or Campbell's, and, perhaps, not as good, but that just adds to my enjoyment. Since I usually only eat this when I'm stuffed up, I never know how it tastes, but going through the steps of creating it takes my mind off my troubles.

Usually.