Ho Ho Ho-liday Spirit

It's looking a lot like ... those who love me may have to dig deep into built-up reserves of affection this season. I'm not sure me or my car is up to fighting the holiday crowds and, if the rest of this week is as filled with rain as the stores are now with holiday shoppers, I may not be going anywhere.

Hmmm.

Now, first off, it may strike you as odd that someone who's decided to live in a county of some ten million people would have any reason to gripe about crowds, but there you have it. Sure, plenty of them are attractive women, which makes going among them a treat, but many are not, and even the best view gets tiring after waiting in line behind them for a cashier for fifteen minutes. It's not the shopping I mind so much, or even the cost, it's that I'm not happy with anything I'm buying.

To make matters even more challenging, all of my sister's family (excepting husbands, boy friends, in-laws, and baby daddies) is in town this year. That's all three nieces and their children I have to get things for, and I'm not sure I'm up to the task. Sure, it's only six people over the usual, but those three grand-nephews better not have their hopes for anything they want.

I don't, really, know them at all. I'm fuzzy on their ages but know their names, I have no idea what size anything they wear, no clue about their likes and dislikes, their hobbies and hatreds, and am very much out of touch with the younger generation. The good news for me is, I'm not sure there's much expectation on their part. I mean, really, there can't be all that much for precedent in gifts from great-uncles. I know for a fact no great-uncle ever got me anything, and I couldn't even tell you any of their names.

What I do know is that they're all boys, ranging between high school and elementary school and tall and lanky to short and stout, respectively. I also know that no boy has ever hoped for clothes or, in spite of the their thanks, very satisfied with any sweater. I have no idea what they already have or need and, as teenagers, about the only thing I know for sure is they'd like porn.

My only hope is that they have such low expectations for a great-uncle present that anything will do. I just hope I can guess who likes German scat.