Rewards of Gainful Employment

Years ago I was awarded a prize of my choosing for having endured five years of employment at some place. A month or so prior to my anniversary, I was given a small catalog (think of an Air Mall brochure) and could choose between several items.

I chose a telescope.

That, alone, qualifies me to weigh in on the the latest astrophysical event, whether or not Pluto is a planet. I can hardly wait.

To be truthful, I couldn't care less how many planets there are, but it does upset some people to think children and others may have to change from being "sure" of the nine everyone alive now knows. What I can't wait to hear is how astrologers respond.

Astrology, you see, mistakenly believes that the planets have a strong influence on the human condition, disregarding the fact that the gravitational pull of the attending physician is greater than that of even the moon, our nearest celestial neighbor. Now that Ceres, Charon, and UB313 may become planets, what will that do to astrology?

Will they reprint, at great cost to astrologers, all the empherides? If so, I'd love to hear their justification. If astrology was correct before, how will the explain the changes?

The way I see it, if astrology was a complete and accurate system before, they'll have to add in influences for these new planets. If they do that, how can the astrologers explain why they weren't affecting us before? And, if the new planets are explained by astrologers as affecting something like my love life now with "greater accuracy" or some such thing, how is it that their omission wasn't explained?

I never heard any astrologer saying "this might not be right" or "there may be other factors at work here," things I'd expect if Charon was influencing me but the astrologer wasn't taken into account.

Nope. I'm sorry. If these new planets get added in, then "old" astrology was all wrong, and I'd like them to admit it. I think it's obvious that astrology is great for selling newspapers or otherwise separating fools from their money, but other than giving us cool and obscure-looking symbols with which to decorate horror or paranormal movies, they have to admit they got it all wrong.

And, still do.