I should probably explain the Holden Caulfield Effect, because I see it all the time and think about it a lot. As can be imagined, it comes from Catcher in the Rye, a book that's required reading for anyone visiting this blog.
Somewhere in the middle, Holden goes on a minor, benign rant about Catholics. As I remember it, he talks about how Catholics are always trying to figure out if you're Catholic, too, usually by asking directions to the nearest Church.
I've expanded this notion.
It's most obvious that it's done by women. I always listen for it, more for amusement than any important information, but it's surprising to me how quickly some woman I'm talking to will manage to bring a "we" into the conversation. I'm sure it's not a big planned thing, mostly done for the sake of comfort, and isn't a conscious hint that my advances would be best served with another woman, but I always get a kick out of how it comes up. Invariably, within the first five minutes, a woman will let you know that she's got a husband, a boyfriend, or whatever.
I like these little social things that people do.
The Holden Caulfield Effect
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3 comments:
interesting and probably true, though i often use a we when it's me and my friend heather or some other friendly combination - not because i'm trying to scare someone off, but because it feels like lying to imply i did it alone. then again, i wonder if i do it mostly when speaking to a guy whose interest i don't want to incourage... food for thought.
Hey, I'll admit to doing it. But let's face it, sometimes it's a good thing. Guys get ideas. A nice looking girl has a conversation with a guy and eventually she has to make her "status" known. It's too uncomfortable otherwise.
I'll also admit that it's a *conscious thing*, at least on my part, but sadly, I haven't felt the need to do it in quite a long time.
Perhaps it's the wedding ring.
It almost works both ways though, because I've experienced men who do the same thing. Can't I jsut have a conversation with someone without everyone thinking that I'm trying to hit on them?? I feel yah, needless to say.
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