Christmas Musings

There are either a lot of people in this world who are unable or uncomfortable showing emotions or else there are a lot of people incapable or unwilling to show emotions who orbit around me.

Maybe I draw them in, and I'm all frigid and businesslike, too.

In my family we open our gifts on Christmas Eve because that's sooner than waiting for Christmas Day. That leaves Christmas Day for the gifts left by Santa and the big feast. The dinner on Christmas Eve is a hastily assembled affair, eaten even quicker.

This year, though, Christmas Eve was at my niece's home down near Riverside and featured both turkey and ham. She dislikes ham, which I find unfathomable, but prepared one for her sister who wisely thinks there's no better food on the planet. Ham, I must say, is the chicken of meat as far as versatility goes, but has the advantage of actually having flavor.

So there were five of us, four adults and one recently teenaged boy, a turkey, a ham, and an entire sideboard full of fixings. Dinner was a leisurely affair with much gossip and passing of plates, and we were all sated and blissful when it was done.

During all this conversation the number of references to any emotions hovered around zero except when I spoke in hopes to urge the others on. They were having none of it, and my family is as reluctant to talk about how they feel as most professional football coaches must be to discuss playbooks. The conversation, then, can vary from drab recounting of facts to the more mind numbing reminiscinces. It kills time, but requires more reading between the lines then is healthy, just to figure out where their coming from.

Then, we distributed and opened the gifts. While my family may not be open and caring, they're downright happy when they get to see the shadows of love as reproduced by presents. It's a distant way of showing and admitting feelings, two or three generations removed from actually saying anything, and the cool, clinical treatment is about all we can handle.

Still, it must be said that we're rarely more happy with each other than we are when trading these symbols of consideration and affection. Yes, it would be better if we could be open with each other, but I'd be nervous in that situation.

I once heard of a study that found that human beings mate with others who are pretty much their equals as far as physical looks go. Sure, sometimes we see wild mismatches, but I blame those on economics. My point was that, in addition to associating ourselves with those our attractiveness equals, we also stick with those who are about as healthy as we are.

This may explain my disappointments, since I frequently try to better myself, but the good news is those who know me should be flattered to know I consider them a more ideal person than I see myself as being.

The holidays can bring out the best in everyone, and I receive much more than I can reasonably expect or return.