Heaven

It might be no more than the limitations of the human mind (mine), but one thing keeping me away from religion is I can't believe in heaven.

For one, I don't like the whole idea of this life as being a test. That doesn't mean it isn't, and my liking or disliking it would have nothing to do if some God has decided it is, but that kind of thinking doesn't draw me in. It's a reasurring notion, this good people get rewarded even though they're shat on here, and bad people get punished even though they seem to succeed, but I just can't imagine anything that I'd consider heaven. I can't imagine unending happiness and delight, always increasing, with no worries or problems. I'd get used to it, and then it wouldn't be heaven it would be boring.

I know me. I get used to things.

I was born and raised Lutheran. I went to the necessary classes to be confirmed in the Lutheran faith. In fact, the Sunday of my confirmation was the last day I went to church for services for twenty-five years. I'd go to weddings, baptisms, and funerals, but never returned to church. There was supposed to be a confirmation gift, probably a hymnal or something like that, waiting for me in the foyer the next week. It may still be there.

When I was around forty, I attended a church service once, after having been told it was a good way to meet people.

I still have this idea of heaven, the one with the angels on the clouds and the old white man with the beard, and, I'm sorry, but sitting around singing hymns all day, for eternity, isn't anything I want. I'd like to see my parents again, and some close friends I've lost, but how could that be? Suppose my dad wants to be in his twenties?

The Jehovah's Witnesses have people coming back and living on earth (along with the lion and sheep lying down together), and I can think of nothing worse than spending eternity on this planet. How many fruits can you pluck from the trees before it's old hat? Oh, I hear, God will work it out so that it's always incredible. Well, if He has to change my makeup that much, I don't think it would be me that's in heaven.

I'd much rather consider this life for just what it is. If someone does something nice for me, I can't enjoy it if they're doing it for any reason other than they want to. I'm not interested in people being kind because they want a reward: I could force people to do all kinds of things at the point of a gun. This proves nothing.