My Name

I'm often asked, especially when meeting people, what my name is. I usually tell them one, but I have a couple. My full name, my legal one, is Russell, but I often go by Russ, because it's shorter and we Americans are like that.

When I was growing up I was always Rusty, not a bad name for a kid. My family would call me Rusty Dusty because it rhymed, or maybe I was always dirty. When I was around twelve or so I stopped having a crew cut and began growing my hair long enough to need a comb. I had to keep it neat, over the ears and off the collar was the school's dress code, and about that same time I started calling myself Russ.

I always signed my name Russell, but never called myself that. One of the clerks at one of the liquor stores I worked at, and older man named Mort who'd known me all my life, would call me Russell the Muscle, because I'd often carry the bags home for mom. Later on, in my late twenties when I had a group of friends who all had nicknames, mine was Muscleman. They called me that because after seeing Rocky I started doing one arm pushups.

My arms were never particularly muscular, but I had a nice chest there for awhile. And, good legs from all the bike riding. Now I have man boobs and chicken legs, the same legs I had when I was a youngster.

When I got married my wife called me Russell. She was the first person in my life to use that name for me all the time. As she put it one night when I asked her why, "It's your name." My name, Russell, always sounded beautiful when she said it aloud. We don't often hear other people speaking our names, and rarely do it ourselves.

After that marriage fall apart I was Russ again. The people at work and whatnot were never introduced to me by that name, but they'd see it all the time written down. I kept Russell away from them because I was convinced that if everyone started using it that it would lose the special qualities with which she'd imbued it.

Now, I'm not so strict. I still associate Russell with love or legality and usually use Russ as a common, friendly name. When people ask me for my name they always ask which to use. I tell them I don't care, but only use Russ when I'm introduced. If they discover or choose Russell, although I have no reason to, I associate it with love or business.

I leave it up to them, even though they don't know there are rules.