Discarding Knowledge and Ideals

I'm all set for Thanksgiving as long as I'm only called on to hand out candy and respond appropriately to the cute little kids who show up at my doorstep. I'm very good at acting frightened and even better at glowering at teenagers in T-shirts.

In spite of the many lessons I've received by faithfully reading CandyBlog every day, I'm not giving out any candies that are excellent or particularly tasty. As a child (and, even, as an adult) I never savored candies and my most-common reaction after taking a bite of something I liked was to follow that bite with a second and third. For me the object was to get as much candy in my mouth and system as quickly as possible.

So I apologize to candy lovers everywhere. Small treats, like candy corn, are for gobbling.

Also, I turned my back on my non-corporate nature. The kids who visit won't get anything they're not already familiar with, though I don't know if it's something they like. They'll be getting Tootsie Rolls, Three Musketeers, Milky Ways, that kind of thing. I expect they'll be no more aware of waxy chocolate than I've ever been, will never have heard the term enrobing, and will have absolutely no interest in health issues or cavaties. Those important issues flatten candy enjoyment like a cast iron piano.

When I was going out many of our neighbors made up cute little bags of treats. They used to sell those tiny envelopes, all decorated with witches and things, and people could fill them with caramels, candy corn, and all sorts of bulk treats. I looked for those, but I guess they're far to fraught with potential danger for any parent to accept them any longer. And, forget about giving out candy or caramel apples!

Which reminds me...not only will I be faced with a bunch of kids I don't know wearing Sponge Bob costumes, I'll have to remember to wave at the adults who stand on the sidewalk and try to look away.