Maybe Later

See, I want to say something, but I won't. Like I said the other day, in spite of everythng I hold back, about half of my thoughts are best left unsaid. What I was considering is something that would be manipulative, would have as its sole justification casting me in a favorable light.

Perhaps later, when I'm more rash.

Now I'm going to wonder more about my writing. I just finished working on part of Kicker Chapt 14, which is one of my favorites now. I love the dialogue with Charlene, but it may be too long. I also just love many of the lines, including these:

There are crusts of sleep in the corners of her eyes, which she wipes away. I figure I have them, too, and dig my own out.

I like how she "wipes" while he "digs." Such subtlety!

Anyway, while I'm doing that I'm thinking about TRE. Here's my desire for the universe, writing edition:
1) Get an agent and have TRE published (to universal acclaim would be nice, but not necessary)
2) Follow it up with Kicker, which could be a better book (thereby avoiding the crappy second book syndrome and garnering respect and even more universal acclaim).

The problem is ... I need to make TRE better so someone would accept it. To be honest, I don't believe either is good enough as they stand now. Ideally, I'd want any ms submitted to be one that I can read without thinking of so many changes to make on each page. How long does it take before every sentence is one that I'm satisfied with?

So, I want to water the lawn, but it's too sunny out. I need to wash my car, but worry about doing so with two windows permanently down. I need to clean, but can't because my sister is around.

Maybe I'll finish my runthrough of Chap 14, then go shopping. I need some food, particularly butter. The other night driving home I was starving. I really wanted to eat, but it was too late and nothing was open except chain fast food places. I already went to one of those this year, and can only do so once more. I thought of going to Ralph's Market, but I have food at home and couldn't see spending more money. I didn't have much I felt like eating, but I could have grilled cheese sandwiches, and kept talking myself into that during my drive.

Then, when I got home, I remembered I had no butter. I went to bed hungry, which is probably better for me, and struggled yesterday to find things to eat that didn't need butter. As I discovered, most everything I wanted required at least a little butter. I have no desire to have pancakes without butter, fried potatoes without butter is just plain wrong, and ended up having a dry cheese sandwich. For dinner I had two bowls of Top Ramen (the fancier name stuff, not the generic!) and chewed on some celery.

This has nothing to do with writing, nor with making me look good, so I'm pleased with this entry.