Minardi Jones

I'd hate to know me.

I've been thinking about the people I've attracted and am attracted to and, other than me, I have no idea what they have in common. I wouldn't introduce any of them to each other, and I certainly can't imagine introducing any of them to myself.

I've heard that we're attracted to people who are about as attractive as we are, but that can't be true. The women who've been attracted to me are always cute, the men run the gamut. While the women were all pretty, funny, and sharp, not all my men friends were funny. About the only thing I can think of that we all shared was an unwillingness to gossip.

People who are attracted to me don't read People magazine. I was thinking of that today when I went to the supermarket and saw all the magazines next to the checkstand. I don't think anyone I've ever been close with has regularly read any of them. Evening that out, though, was a good friend's roomate, who took pictures for Star.

Whatever it is that attracts so many people to follow Britney and Michael Jackson's life, it isn't the kind of thing that causes one to enjoy my company. It doesn't bother me that this excludes me three-fourths of the population, but it may explain why I'm so bored at cocktail parties.

Who the hell would I set me up with on a blind date? I'd hate to do that, and that's why I'd hate to know me.