Misunderstandings

In additon to being a con man, L Ron Hubbard had some remarkable ideas about education, many of which I suspect he pulled out of his ass. He borders on the obsessive when he writes about misunderstood words, or MUs in the jargon of his followers.

His invented claim is that when you read past a word you don't understand, it inhibits your ability to learn. Evidence for this is growing tired, bored, or otherwise uninvolved with your studies. People who spend money to learn his questionable wisdom spend countless hours questioning themselves and others about these MUs.

They have, of course, their own dictionary, which I've never seen.

As much as I belittle that, I have a huge problem in my own life with misunderstandings. I try to be articulate and exact when I speak or write, and so do most of the people I associate with. Still, invariably, I end up coming away with ideas that I concoct out of straw, that have no roots in anything said or done or conceived of.

I want to believe X so badly that I force it to be true. I think I may do this unconsciously, ignoring everyting that conflicts with my wants, or twisting and spinning everything so it matches up with my absurd views and desires. I do this less frequently with arguments over held beliefs and logic than I do with what I simply want, so I'm not crazy. I'm more pathetic. Deluded.

I think if I want something badly enough, I'll ignore everything to hold onto my dream. I invest so much hope in them that I maintain them, perhaps, for their own sake, maybe out of habit. It's not just words for me, it's whole fabrications. I'm aware of most, large and important realities, but I twist details so that I can build up and sustain my hopes, misunderstanding agrrements and plans and intentions. Eventually, of course, I get the "I told you so," and end up wondering where I went wrong and never see that I didn't go wrong, I thought wrong.