How I Shop

A few years back, when they first came out, I bought a handful of those colorful Chinese caribiners that everyone is now using for keychains. The people at work liked them, so I bought them some, too. Since then, I've had three or four of them stop working or break and have replaced them.

When I was re-roofing the house, I used them for all kinds of things, but heeding the warning on them, never used them to try to do anything real, such as saving my life. They're cute, but they're decorative and I got tired of replacing them.

So, since my last one broke, I needed another. Full of ego, I decided to give up on those toy caribiners and get a real one to hold my keys. This necessitated a trip to a rock-climbing store since the real caribiners aren't sold at, say, Gerald's Hardware. I found a large display of caribiners in the rock-climbing store, but the real ones are expensive. I finally found the cheapest ones they had, at a shade under ten bucks each, and, in an attempt to disguise my complete disinterest in rock-climbing but needing the clerk to think I was serious about it, I couldn't very well just pick up just one. No, I had to get a few, like I was re-equipping myself for an assault on K2 or something. I came close to buying some rope, too, and a few other necessities to camoflauge the caribiner purchase, but thankfully stopped short.

The clerk, I might add, never paid me any attention at all.


Still reading Kicker and making notes in the margin. Still feels like an exercise in futility, a lot of work for something no one cares about and no one will ever read.